The Search for God Page 2.1.4.2.1
The perfect being.
Seeking perfection
The picture I stare at is this shiny being, noble, upright, kind, who uplifts, a person I strive to be when I wake up in the morning. The reflection I view when staring at this picture appears selfish, greedy, unkind in word and deed, unable to keep promises, a letdown, a step down from the perfection I seek.
So day-by-day I lower the standards of perfection to something more attainable, something more satisfactory. I hated staring at the picture-mirror, I disliked even considering looking at the image of perfection that I desired in myself, for the image is unobtainable.
Still, with each passing day through high school and college, I vowed to do better, to be better, yet I set a cap. There were certain things I would never be perfect at, so “good enough” and “better than most” became my goal.
Since perfection was unobtainable and “better than most” my goal, I would also set a floor, and there were things in my life that I would not allow to fall below it.
This was my concept for much of my life, even now I dislike the picture-mirror I must gaze upon.
Questions on my mind
- What does it mean to be all-good?
- Can I even fathom such a state?
- Can a being be all-good, apart from being timeless and having all-knowledge about events?
- Does an all-good being set the standard or is this being the standard?
- Is the all-good standard changeable at a whim?
First, the standard
All-good is perfection in thought and in action. Humans set this idea of perfection against a standard of “Could I have done better?” At that moment of interaction with our spouse, our children, the drunk, the homeless man at work, we ask ourselves, “Could I have done better?”
But this idea of doing better is for who? Myself, the other person, or both? Isn’t that the difficulty? For even when we think we are doing “the best,” the other person might perceive the interaction as something far less. So that in every interaction, this standard of perfection carries a judgment aspect.
The judges are myself, the other person, and outside observers each using their own standard of right and wrong behavior, which becomes, “the human standard.”
How humans judge
This human standard of perfection perceives right and wrong like a test graded on a curve. On a test, there is the 100% perfect right answer and everything else is something less. So how do humans judge?
Humans use their own knowledge, their own experience, the standards of society, and standards of religion to help us score each interaction and each moment, even thoughts. So basically, we utilize knowledge and experience.
Since we lack perfect knowledge and perfect understanding of the impact of our interactions, we consistently score less than 100%, which produces guilt and regret. This guilty feeling is because we are actually under judgment for failure to obtain the 100% perfect score we internally feel we ought to obtain.
So, we attempt to rid ourselves of the guilt and the sense of judgment in various manners. To have all-good, to be perfect, we must have all-knowledge and know the impact of our decisions and actions upon another individual.
So, an all-good, perfect being would be dependent upon these other attributes. Without these abilities, perfection in thought and action are not obtainable. So just like all-power is a dependent attribute, so too is all-goodness perfection.
All-knowledge
Without all-knowledge, we can never be all-good. We will always fall short. Even with this understanding, I cannot assuage my guilt, I cannot escape the idea that I should be perfect. This idea was such a burden that this consideration was far easier to aim for a soft A, maybe 90% goodness, rather than perfection. But,
- By whose standard?
- My own standard?
- Do I act and interact according to my own internal compass and map?
- Do I guide by society, a jury of my peers?
- Where does the standard reside?
Well, since we must have all-knowledge, the standard must reside in one who can be perfect. I don’t like this consideration, I will never obtain this standard, so I did not want to consider this line of reasoning in college or during medical school.
My marriage just had to be better than my parent’s, better than most people’s in society. That is why I hated this topic. I could be comfortable in never having all-knowledge. I floated happily in the river of time cooled by the water of causality.
Logic of identity and non-contradiction make no demands upon my soul. Even the law of death, while unknown and provoking a dark pit of angst, did nothing to my heart other than evoke fear. But perfection? Oh perfection; it drives a stake of guilt and regret into my heart.
My mind and eyes turn away nauseated, retching at the guilt overwhelming my body. Do not stare at the picture-mirror. Do not contemplate the good, the perfect. Let me set up my own standard.
Let me regard society’s picture-mirror. By these my guilt is relieved, my mind at ease. Only the law of morality, the idea of all-goodness makes true demands upon my mind, heart, and soul—and I hated the thought.
What does it mean to be all-good?
Let me not even contemplate, sure this being could exist, but I don’t want him to. Every other attribute of God I could examine dispassionately, pulling out some trinket off the shelf and regarding the features.
But all-goodness? No, all-goodness is a reflection of myself upon the shelf, an examination open for all the world and this being to observe, because every time I consider 100% perfection, I am confronted by the fact, the painful realization, that I always score far less.
Even with a 90% goal, goodness on most days I would score 40% in comparison to an all-good perfect being. In society’s eyes, 40% might be 90th percentile of other humans, but the guilt remains. I could have been better. “I could’ve been a contenda (sic).”
What Next?
- What is the crucial concept?
- Humans are bound by the law of morality. One hundred percent perfection and all-goodness requires all-knowledge and timeless all-knowledge.
- Why is that significant?
- Humans will always fall short of perfection, which produces guilt in our own thoughts and actions. The law of morality produces a demand on our heart and mind.
- If you agree, the next steps.
- If you disagree, please consider reading.
References and Links
- The Mental Fitness Company – Perfectionism or High Standards?
- Merriam-Webster – Contemplate